trigger warning – this story contains themes of sexual violence
Jessica Stephenson Clarke is a London-based life coach and is the name and face behind Jessica Elizabeth Coaching. As a coach, she works with women to help reframe their relationship stories and reconnect with their inner passion.
Jessica believes that there are so many women out there who, outwardly, have it all together but deep down, they perhaps feel like a fraud or that they aren’t worthy of the life that they seek. It is now her mission to help women take control of every aspect of their lives and to build fulfilling and nurturing relationships along the way. She is tired of watching women playing small and playing by other people’s rules.
It is time to rewrite the story
After someone very close to her was raped when she was 17, Jessica could see how cruel the world could be. This experience made her start to question what it takes to rebuild your womanhood from the beginning after a traumatic or life-changing event. Like so many women, Jessica has her own stories of abuse and her first-hand experiences have shaped her approach to coaching. She strongly believes that women aren’t here to be abused or used by others. She wants to rewrite the story of women as victims and, instead, show women as being strong, powerful, and capable of overcoming anything.
After watching her loved one suffer from the traumatizing and isolating effects of rape, Jessica knew that she wanted to support and empower other women so that no one would have to go through those same struggles alone. She started her career working in philanthropy and soon found herself at Resurgo Trust (www.resurgo.org.uk.), a UK-based organization that helps disadvantaged young people achieve job-readiness and offers consultancy services that allow sustainable businesses to grow and scale. At its heart, Resurgo is a coaching organization that aims to transform the very fibre of society.
Finding her passion…..
Although Jessica was initially skeptical about coaching, she soon experienced its transformative power herself. Coaching dramatically changed her life and this inspired her to help transform other people’s lives. Jessica is incredibly grateful that she was able to turn her biggest passion into a career.
Through her coaching, Jessica aims to help women fall back in love with themselves, explore what they want from life and relationships, set healthy boundaries, move beyond the past and start to really build for the future, understand patterns and triggers that cause unhealthy behavior, and build in practices and practical tools to take action. This gives women the foundation to live a happier, healthier lifestyle and the knowledge on how to make the choices that are best for them in the future.
Jessica encourages people to pursue their passions and although it may be daunting, she believes that the key is to take it one step at a time. There is no quick fix to change your life but rather than being held back by insecurity and doubt about whether you can change jobs or start your own business, everyone should take more risks. Jessica believes that we should all find our work fulfilling and have the potential to do so.
COVID has provided an important learning curve for Jessica and she thinks that it should make everyone consider if not now, when? “Why are we just waiting in this period doing nothing?” This ideology continues to shape her coaching methodology and as she partners with clients, she helps guide them as they realize what might have been holding them back and what the next step is to move forward.
Like a basketball coach watching a player land their first three-pointer or a math teacher seeing their student finally learn to solve a difficult equation, Jessica loves coaching and lives for the moment when she sees a client have their A-HA moment. She believes that coaching is highly practical, unlike therapy or mentoring, and that it allows a client to come up with all of the answer themselves, whether it be a mistruth or unhealthy habit which has been stopping them from reaching fulfillment. By identifying their own problems and coming up with their own solutions, clients are empowered and maintain control throughout the entire process.
Looking backward and forward…..
The best advice that Jessica was ever given was to ‘plan her life like there will be no man.’ Although this was hard to process at first, Jessica realized that since she had imagined the stages of her life with a partner by her side that she had been putting herself under pressure to find ‘the one’. This gave her the freedom to pursue the life that she wanted and deserved.
Looking back at her 18-year-old self, Jessica would tell her to find herself before she tried to find a man and that it is ok to be on her own. Relationships don’t give you purpose. Only you can do that. Like many women, she feels that this advice would have saved her a lot of time and pain. Although it took her a long time to accept it, she finally realized that she could be happy on her own and that she could build her own life for herself, not for anyone else. Jessica now knows that a life partner should complement her life and her plans, not be her sole purpose for existing.
So what advice would she give a little girl aspiring to be a strong, independent woman? Jessica thinks that the most important thing is to never let the passion and the light inside of you die. Keep it safe. Life is hard and you will feel beaten down by the world. But your light will always find its way through the darkest of places.
“We are so, so much stronger than we think we are and if we have something within us to hold onto, we will always rise up again”
You can connect with Jessica on Instagram @jessicaelizabeth_coaching or find out more about her story and her coaching services on her website at www.jessicaelizabethcoaching.co.uk.